Open Letter About Suicide: I miss you uncle

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mash: introspection / mental health

  Open letter about suicide

Dear Uncle V.,


Suicide isn’t a fun, hip subject. It isn’t light dinner conversation. It’s something we deal with privately, and talk about in hushed tones. Sometimes, we don’t talk about it at all.

 

But I want to talk about it. I want to talk about you Uncle V. I barely got to know you, but I miss you. I miss not knowing you.

 

My father never talks about you. Ever. Someone has to bring your name up, and then he just looks away. He loved you deeply. He loved you more than you know. There was plenty of people that needed or wanted help from him at one time or another. They wanted the American dream, and just needed some place to stay while they ‘got on their feet’. But Dad said no to all of them–all except you and your family. You know why he let you come live with us Uncle V.? Because he loved you. He enjoyed being around you. You brought out a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

 

In fact, it seems that you brought that out in a lot of people. Auntie V. was normally so quiet and sedate, except when you were around. She’d roar with gut busting laughter at your antics. And why not? You were hilarious. And your son and daughter? Well they never felt safer than when they were with their father. You were, after all, boxing champion back home. And me? I was just proud to say you were my uncle.

 

You taught me about where my family is from. I remember sitting in the kitchen, eyes full of tears, as you taught me how to make homemade authentic caribbean pepper sauce. We bottled it in mason jars so that it could last forever.

 

We still had a few jars left when we got that call from the island. You’d gone back home. Your kids and Auntie V. had stayed. I was too young to realize what that meant. Now I’m too old to blame anyone. People split up. People also turn to alcohol to dull the pain of life. And when that doesn’t work, sometimes they silence the pain permanently.

 

Because he loved you. He enjoyed being around you. You brought out a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

 

How I wish I could have you here right now. Dad is getting older, and he misses his younger brother. A few weeks ago Auntie V. passed away. Now your children have neither parent. And I just miss all the things I could have said to my very coolest uncle.

 

I’m not going to act like you were never a part of my life. And I’m not going to act like you didn’t commit suicide. I’m going to speak on it. I’m going to own it, because the whole experience of you in my life has affected me. I missed you. You’re loved, dear Uncle V.

 

Your Loving Niece, Mrs. M.U



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Be sure to check out series writer for That’s Mashed Up, The Chick’s Letter to Depressed Souls that was inspired by Robin William’s recent suicide.

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  • April Farley

    My empathy goes to you and your family. I too know the sting of suicide. No we,as a family , seldom speak of it. There is always a place set during the Holiday period where the ones that have left us should still be sitting. It is unspoken how cheated we all feel. How helpless we are because we could not change the sad outcome. Suicide devastates. Period. I am so glad you posted this up. I hope it can open dialogue where there hasn’t been and helps. Bless you and yours.

  • http://www.adrianstraveltales.com/ Adrian’s Travel Tales

    Thank you for opening up and sharing such a raw part of your life. I have not lost anyone to suicide however there have been attempts by family members and friends before. I am glad you are speaking out and I am sending healing thoughts to you and your family. Hopefully one day this will not be a problem anymore.

  • http://loveforlacquer.com/ loveforlacquer

    So sorry for your loss <3

  • Jaime Huff

    Oohhhh I am so sorry. This is really tough. Suicide leaves more questions than answers but I think once we sympathize, we can learn to understand their pain a bit more each time. Sounds like your uncle was a wonderful man and is dearly missed.

    My brother-in-law committed suicide 10 years ago and my brother attempted suicide a few years ago. He ended up in a PTSD unit at the VA and now he is considered 100% disabled by the VA. He has always gotten help from the VA and they’ve provided him good care (he was lucky because he was in the first wave of soldiers injured in Iraq in 2003/2004 and he was getting help before the huge influx of soldiers needing care)

  • http://www.treatsbytanya.com/ Tanya Coffman

    I’m so sorry you lost your uncle. I think everyone at some point has been to the same edge, life can be so hard at times. Thank you for sharing your story and feelings, I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you. *hugs*

  • Karen Rodwill Solomon

    This is a beautiful tribute. I am so sorry for your loss

  • Ogiro1

    I’m sorry for your loss of your uncle and aunt V. Suicide is a sad sad thing, no one should have to go through. This was beautifully written…

  • http://kathrivera.com/ Kath Rivera

    I’m so sorry for this incident, it’s hard to lose someone so dearly. I hope you’ll recover fast and may his soul be blessed. My prayers to you and your family.

  • http://www.thepatranilaproject.com/ Patranila

    This is a lovely tribute. Sorry for your loss.

  • http://www.bubbablueandme.com/ Emma Tustian

    Sorry for your loss. I think it really helps people who might be going through the same to read things like this

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  • http://www.positivekismet.com/ ElizOF

    I’m so sorry to read about your uncle’s passing. Suicide leaves so much pain for those left behind. Sending healing light your way.

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