mash: nostalgia / music / self-growth
I am not old. In fact, I will never be old. That’s just how I think. However, I do realize that I’m not as young as I used to be. I think about things, people, and relationships a lot different now than I did years ago.When Jill Scott, Golden came out I was working full-time at a job I liked, but had no intention of advancing in.
I worked for the weekends when I spent my day prettying and prepping myself to go out in the evening with people (only a handful of whom I actually liked) to dance and eat and drink, and come home to sleep to do it all over again. I spend tons of time doing what other people thought I should do: I worked where they thought I should, I wore my hair the way they thought looked good, heck I even bought the car someone else picked out for me.
I was young. I was easily swayed and was doing things just because it was what all my peers were doing. My life was a pointless blur.
Now, through a combination of family and seeing the result of the wasted effort and time placed into half-baked relationships, I have a wholly different perspective on what is important.
I’m not bashful about telling people “No, I don’t want to” go here, or do this. Life goes quickly. Time is fleeting. And I, for one, don’t have any extra time to spend doing things that I don’t want to with people that I don’t want to be around–and I’m not shy to let others know. “I’m taking my freedom, pulling it off the shelf, putting it on a chain, wear it on my neck” for everyone to see.
Spending time and energy with people who really don’t care about you is a silly way to live. I love my family–the family I built of the people who I chose to be in my life and who chose me to be in theirs. And with them I enjoy myself.
I spend my time working a job I like, with a destiny and purpose in mind. You spend about 40 hours per week at a job if you work full-time. How tragically depressing to work somewhere you hate, for hours and hours on end with no goal in mind. No, making it from one weekend to the next is no longer good enough. I now intend for my love of life to “take me far”.
In the end I realize that as I age my life is a sum of memories. I’ve already collected enough to know which type create beautiful, lovely experience; I can look back on where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing when made them. Usually those positive memories were made around people that stuck with me through thick and thin, or just by my darn self (I am, after all, my own best friend). And I was doing something I loved, or was trying something new, or found myself someplace amazing. I wasn’t in a club. I wasn’t smiling at some girl I really didn’t like, or politely dancing with a guy I didn’t want to spend time with.
No, life is too short for that. I’d rather be “livin’ my life like it’s golden, golden.”
Be sure to check out another article in the Growing Up Music series: “One Week” by the Barenaked Ladies. Do you have a song that was given new meaning as you grew up? If so, tell us about it below! Or even better, submit a piece to the series yourself!